Friday, May 6, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers

This edition is brought to you by the aches and pains of pregnancy. How exciting!!
  • Jen does Friday Night Leftovers, and it's a good way to get something on paper without having to put too much thought into it. I need this right now.
  • Monkey got to go ride his tricycle in the street today. This was a huge event for him. We live on a cul de sac, so we don't have a ton of traffic. He had a blast.
  • I'll be 26 weeks tomorrow. Depending on who you ask, fetal viability varies. Some say 24 weeks, some say 27. Most agree on 500 grams. At the ultrasound I had at 23 weeks, her estimated weight was right around 547 grams. I'm sleeping easier.
  • We have reached the point where I can watch The Critter move in my stomach. This generally happens in the evening, or after I had something sugary like juice or chocolate. Yes, I know I'm not supposed to eat chocolate. A single Hershey Kiss here and there isn't going to do a ton of damage, I'm certain.
  • I get to go for another ultrasound on Tuesday. Hate the possible complications, love getting to see the wee fetus more often.
  • Debating whether to do my glucose tolerance the day of my ultrasound or go back to the hospital another day. Ultrasound is scheduled for 11am. I guess I could go at 9:30 and do the GTT, then wait around for my ultrasound... Something tells me I'll want to eat something after the test, though.
  • I finally got all the paperwork done for the foundation we started in honor of my grandmother. Just need to write a giant check, and mail it all off to the IRS. Then, we wait. I'm not good at waiting.
  • I've had a post percolating in my head for a while about how much I miss being a part of the blog community. I miss my peeps. But I was part of the infertility community, and my husband was actually the one who was infertile. After my divorce and subsequent remarriage, I feel like a fraud in the infertility community. It sucks to feel like you don't belong anymore.
  • On a related note, I'm afraid of putting myself out there too much. I'm afraid someone will stop by and ask how I got pregnant. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I got pregnant by having sex. We're so so lucky. Again, I feel like a fraud. But I want so badly to share this with my internet community - you know, the one I'm not a part of anymore.
  • I'm overly emotional.
  • Can I be completely honest about something? Let me preface it by saying that I'm infinitely grateful to be carrying this child, and I feel like it's so much more than I deserve. When I think about meeting our daughter for the first time, I cry like a baby... But I really hate being pregnant. Really.
  • I have 14 more weeks of being pregnant ahead of me. This makes me a little sad.
  • It is time to go settle in and watch something with Xavier for an hour or so before he goes to bed. I'll be going shortly thereafter. Not sleeping so great these days.
Go hang with Danifred and find out who else is serving up Friday Night Leftovers.

5 comments:

  1. It's okay to really want a pregnancy and still feel awful and want time to go faster.

    Well, everyone in the ALI community has a different story. I'm not officially infertile either, just sub. You still belong.

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  2. 1) You might feel sick after the GTT - I wouldn't do it on a day when you have something else you have to do.

    2) I have a hard time feeling like part of the community as well. Our dx was male factor, but I never really blogged about that part. It's mostly about my journey, my thoughts and feelings. I don't have many readers, either, which doesn't help the belonging feeling. However, you've been in the trenches for whatever reason - even if that reason no longer applies. That says you DO belong, even if...

    3) you got pregnant having sex? How dare you? Oh wait, how dare I? It happens. Even to infertiles/subfertiles, it happens. We get lucky. It doesn't mean we don't belong any less, it just means the dice lined up for us.

    4) Hating being pregnant is normal, or so I hear. I was fine being pregnant up until the last month or so, but then again I had a relatively easy pregnancy up to that point. Pregnancy isn't for everyone - some love having children but hate being pregnant (my best friend for example), others love being pregnant but could take or leave kids (I have heard of surrogates that fit this profile), while still others are "meh" on pregnancy but want kids. *shrug* We all have different preferences!

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  3. You shouldn't feel bad about any of that!!!

    Didn't you have a rescan last week? I thought you did.

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  4. I wanted to be pregnant more than anything- and then was miserable the entire time. Pregnancy wasn't kind to me at all.

    I hear you on the 'where do I belong' dilemma. I suffer from secondary infertility, so I often feel guilty for wanting a second, a third when others don't have children. Ultimately, I think we all belong.

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  5. I don't think you have to feel guilty about any of this.
    I started my blog because I thought that getting pregnant would be a walk in the park, and I wanted to document it right from day one.
    Six months later, I still haven't conceived.
    I too feel at times feel like I don't have a place in this bloggy world-I'm not far enough in my journey to call it infertility, but I feel like I can relate to many women that are going through this struggle.
    I have found the women in this cyber-world to be incredibly supportive and accepting, despite how you got to where you are today.
    Good luck in finding your "place"...we would love to have you along on the journey!

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