Sunday, July 31, 2011

No Worries - Still Pregnant

Yesterday, I hit the 38 week mark. Next week, I'm being induced.

If one more fucking person asks if I've had the baby yet, I'm going to stab them in the face with a fork.

If one more person gives me their GUARANTEED labor induction techniques (sex, walking, yoga ball, evening primrose oil, pineapple...), I'm going to stab them in the face with a fork. The relief of doing that will probably relax my body enough to release enough oxytocin to get this show on the road. Then I can tell everyone else how to go into labor.

At my last appointment, I didn't gain any weight at all from the previous week. I am a "good" 2cm dilated and still 70-75% effaced. She thinks I'm "very favorable" for induction. She also knows that I am DONE being pregnant. Either Aug 8 or 9, we'll begin the process.

At my appointment this coming Tuesday (Aug 2, 38w3d), she will strip my membranes in an effort to get me started on my own. She did instruct us to have sex after that. That sounds kind of like going to the dentist, having a tooth pulled, and being told to go home and eat popcorn. Just doesn't sound like it'll be fun. And how is sex fun at 38 weeks anyway? I'm roughly the size of a developing nation, and my junk is so swollen that everything feels foreign. Blah.

I'm in a bad mood. Can you tell? Let's talk about more awesome things...

Tomorrow is J's birthday. He will be 45. Monkey came over today to help us celebrate. I asked Monk, "What do you want to get J for his birthday?" He said, "A present!" I said, "Yes, but what should the present be?" He thought for a moment, then said, "I sink.... candies. And he can share wif me." So, in addition to his birthday present, he also got a bunch of the giant chewy sweet tarts that he and Monk love so much. And wouldn't you know it, J shared wif him.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Had an OB appointment yesterday, with a doctor I haven't seen since 12 weeks or so. Maybe 16. I realized that I do not miss him.

He refused to check my cervix, stating that he wouldn't do it again until 38 weeks. He had zero interest in the fact that I'm 36 weeks (at a point where weight gain should slow down or even stop) and I gained more weight in a WEEK than I did in two weeks previously (4 pounds in 6 days). That's a fuckload of fluid, ladies and gentlemen. I have also moved from just annoyingly huge edema to pitting edema. I laid my legs across J's lap on the couch the other day, like I usually do. He rested his hands on my shin/calf, like he always does... Except when he moved them, there was a perfect imprint of both hands on my leg. About 1/8-1/4 inch deep. Awesome.

Everyone I talk to who DOESN'T work at my practice has asked me when they're going to take her, because my body is obviously not doing well with this. And my practice keeps saying that they will not do a damn thing before 39 weeks.

Last night, the circumference of my ankles surpassed that of my knees. My legs were numb to the touch from mid-calf down.

But I'll be fine for another 3 weeks. The fucking doctor said so.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Two Posts in One Day? Really?

I went to my OB appointment. They did the GBS swab, measured fundal height, and checked my cervix. I am definitely 1cm dilated, and definitely about 75% effaced. The doctor (not the one I normally see, but they require you to see all 3 doctors who may be on call at delivery) grabbed The Critter by the butt from the outside, and wiggled her around. "Feels like a six pound baby to me." Then he told me her butt is in my liver most of the time. Ew. Liver butt.

For my birthday, I did get pretty good news. "The way things look, you definitely aren't going to go another month." Praise every cotton picking thing that is holy. And, "I'll see you next week, if you make it that far." I'm still holding out hope for Friday's full moon. J and I had our first date on a full moon, and we got married on a full moon. If this child has an ounce of style, she'll get here Friday sometime.

I've had several painful contractions. Nothing I can't deal with yet, and definitely nothing regular, but the cervix pain makes me think they are at least somewhat productive. I've been trying to move around as much as I can, but the swollen legs are pretty hurty. The project I'm currently taking a break from is cleaning up our bedroom and getting the hospital bag packed. The baby's bag is done and in her car seat, but I haven't even started on ours.

Anyway, after my appointment, we picked up Monk and met my aunt for lunch. The waitress overheard something about my birthday, and asked my name when I ordered. I told her, with the caveat, "If you sing to me, I'll hit you. I'm pregnant. I'm not kidding." When they brought the food, they hummed Happy Birthday instead. Touche.

Then we ran to Lowe's to get a few fittings that J needed. Monk has been really enjoying "helping" J dig in the yard lately. The big shovel is just too much for him and none of the department stores have a kids' shovel that is worth a damn. Lowe's totally did. We put it in the racecar cart with him, and he told everyone in the store, "Dis is my FAIBRIT (favorite) shovel!" After his nap, he will go dig in the dirt with J. He will be pleased.

Later, I think we're going to order pizza for dinner and maybe go out for ice cream. It's funny, when you become a parent. I don't care what happens "for me" on my birthday - no presents or special treatment or anything like that is necessary. What I really want is to see my son smile and laugh and play and have an amazing day.


I spent most of the afternoon in the car yesterday. J had to take his mom to an appointment, and I didn't want to be left home alone, so I rode along. I just felt kind of off, I guess. Kind of nauseous and wimpy. Everything went fine, but I was glad to not be home alone.

After we got home, I went to the bathroom and noticed some light pink spotting on the toilet paper. Nothing in my underwear or anything, just on the paper. I went ahead and called my OB nurse, figuring she would tell me to wait and tell my doctor about it at my appointment the next day. No. She told me to go to L&D immediately and get checked.

Urine test is still ugly. Apparently Macrobid isn't going to work for me. The on-call put me on Keflex instead. I asked the nurses if they would check my cervix, just to see where we're at. They got permission from the doctor, and off we went.

As of 5pm yesterday, I was 1cm dilated and about 70% effaced. Progress! Of course, I'm still not having anything resembling regular contractions, but it's something. When we came home, we went for a long walk to see if it would stimulate anything. It didn't, but it was good to get out and move around. Turned into a nice moonlit stroll on the way home, too.

I'm off to my regular OB appointment in just a little bit, so hopefully I'll get good news. Like more dilating or effacing or something. It's my birthday today - I deserve some good news.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Still Alive and Pregnant

Queenie pointed out that I haven't posted... Sorry. I think I've reached the "I just don't give a fuck" portion of my pregnancy. I'm miserable, my body hurts, I have contractions every day, and I still stay pregnant. Guess I'm just tired of talking about it. I'm tired of people tracking me down on Facebook to ask if I'm still pregnant. I'm tired of text messages and phone calls. I'm just tired. Of everything.

I went to the OB on Wednesday (34w4d), and she checked my cervix. It was "very mushy" but still posterior, and she confirmed that the baby is engaging. No sugar or protein in my urine at all. Blood pressure was in the 130's over 80's, where it stays most of the time now.

After the appointment, I had a lot of cramping and constant abdominal pain. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it only got worse. I had the expecting brownish blood after the cervix check, but no other bleeding or anything. In the evening, I was miserable, so I went ahead to L&D to make sure I was okay. The nurse checked me again, and my cervix was still closed, but had become very anterior and she could feel the baby pressing against it. She's THAT low. I was on the monitor for about 30 minutes, and had 2 contractions. Not enough to do anything about. The urine test, of course, came back bad. I'm on my third bottle of Macrobid in six weeks, I think. Wicked awesome.

Had quite a few painful contractions last night, but the closest they got was 7 minutes, and that only lasted for 3 contractions. Then it was 15 minutes, then 21, then 30, then 50. Then all done, and off to bed.

I want to go for a walk to get things stimulated, but it's over 90 outside, and with the blood pressure problems I've already had, that seems unsafe. I don't want to endanger anyone, I just want my daughter OUT. Now. Soon. In the next couple days would be fantastic. I'm thinking about seeing if J would take me to the mall later so we can walk some. Maybe get things moving...

The full moon is Friday, and my mom is convinced that that will be the day. I would be okay with that if I KNEW it was happening. But this no-end-in-sight feeling is killing me. The soonest the OB will induce or anything is 39 weeks. That's 26 days. I go back on Wednesday (weekly appointments now) and I'm going to set a date for induction so I KNOW the end is near. So that I can say, if I haven't had her by such and such date, she will be here then. This restless nesting is driving me up the wall and the constant irregular contractions are wearing me out in a big way.