Saturday, October 22, 2011

New Beginnings

This is the part where I vow to write every day, no matter how boring my life is, no matter how little anyone else would care to read it. I'm writing every day. Please hit me if I don't.

Today is Day One of the cloth diaper experience for my wee small infant. I wanted to do it from birth, but I just couldn't afford the up-front cost for all the diapers. Our income has changed and we have more Em-money available now. I bought 12 to get started from CottonBabies. I'm using the bumGenius 4.0 right now. They were on sale on a Buy 5 Get One Free promotion. Two free diapers? Yes please. At the moment, she is in her fourth cloth diaper of the day. I even survived a poopy one. I am quite pleased with myself.

I'm a bit taken aback by the bulkiness of cloth in comparison to disposables. I knew it would be different, but I didn't expect it to be THIS different. I'm sure I/we will get used to it in time.

Both my dogs were killed on Tuesday. It was a very awful day and I really don't have time to properly write about it... Maybe a post for another day. Suffice it to say there was much crying, a little yelling, and J stopped and bought me a bottle of Captain Morgan on the way home from work with the promise that he would be Em's primary caretaker for the night. (Side note: the booze only made me cry more.)

We got a cat on Wednesday. I can't live without a pet of some sort, and after what happened to the dogs, I didn't want another dog right now. (Okay, fine. It was a toxin. We don't know what or how. I only know they got out of the yard, they came back vomiting, within an hour they were both stumbling around like they were drunk, and they had to be put down.) The cat's name is Salem. He is coal black, but he has tiger stripes in the right light. Cute cat. Doesn't fill the massive void or heal the emotional damage.

Em, at 2.5 months old, is sleeping 12 hours a night. I've always been a believer in good sleep training from the start, and apparently I'm good at it. There has been zero CIO (though if you chose to utilize CIO, I don't think you're a bad parent - just not my preference), and very very few missed naps. She goes to bed between 7-8pm, gets up between 7-8am, has a morning nap around 10am and an afternoon nap around 1-2pm. She kind of cat naps in the evening between 2-7, but doesn't really SLEEP. Does that make sense?

She is growing so fast. It kills me. I want my newborn back, but at the same time, I love the way she smiles when I diaper her, the way she lights up when she sees me or J, and I'm looking forward to belly laughs. She's right around 12 pounds now, and at her 2 month appointment, was 23.5 inches long. We grow 'em big. She's smiling, cooing, and eating like crazy. I've never been more in love in my life.

I need to write a post on adoption vs. childbirth, but that is a deep subject and I don't have my hip waders on right now.

Monkey is... 3. Three is hard, people. Like, wow. He started Head Start, and it has only made things worse. I hoped it would make things better. Peers! Playtime! Structure! Not so much. He has learned things like Whining! I detest whining. He has become MUCH more verbal and conversational since beginning Head Start, so it's not all bad. We have entire conversations that make sense now. He's also growing like crazy. He is going to rocket off the growth chart eventually. Birthmom was over six feet tall, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He and Em still have the exact same nose and when I have them both out in public, someone inevitably comments on how much she looks like her brother. God has a way of putting the right kids in the right family, even if by unconventional methods.

I'm doing much better. The postpartum issues are still there a bit. I'm still medicated. I still have my days. I never want to hurt anyone or anything. I just kind of cry a lot. I'm told it's normal. Doesn't exactly feel normal, but I can deal. I kind of can't believe I just had a baby 2.5 months ago. I feel amazing physically. I guess I expected to still feel like crap. But I don't. I'm good.

I'm down two pants sizes from my pre-pregnancy size. VERY happy about that. The general consensus is that pregnancy was hard on my body and took a lot of my fat stores. In the end, I got a ridiculously healthy and happy baby, and I feel great. So... not complaining. Don't want to do it AGAIN, but this one is totally worth everything it took to get her here.

And now, she is telling me (via the baby monitor) that she is finished with her nap and would like to get up now please. I need to go tend to my wee one. I WILL BE BACK TOMORROW. (Hit me if I'm not, remember?)

No comments:

Post a Comment