Monday, October 24, 2011

What Happened To One and Done?

The entire time I was pregnant, I swore I would never ever do that again. It was too hard on my body, my marriage (because I was a bitch), and my mental state. And, well, another pregnancy would mean giving birth again and I just couldn't imagine that being something I would want to do a second time.

Until.

Em is the world's best baby. I am not kidding. She's stunningly beautiful, loves to cuddle, is cool on her own (in her bouncy or on a playmat), sleeps 12 hours a night (from roughly 2 months), rarely cries (even when she's teething way too early)... And she's also growing up way too fast. It's strange, this place I'm in. I want my snuggly newborn back, but I'm also anxious for belly laughs, patty cake, first words, etc. I am madly in love and I want every moment with her at one time.

So I've been really contemplating the thought of having another baby someday. There's nothing saying we even CAN. Em was an unexpected miracle. The doctor said J would never have a child, and now his mini-me is sleeping in the next room. Is it wrong to even hope that it would happen again? Could I handle another pregnancy - this time with TWO other children? I would obviously wait a while. Maybe til she was 2 or so. I would try for a winter baby this time, too. Being pregnant during one of the hottest summers on record really added to my misery.

I know it isn't a decision I have to make right now. It's not even one I have to make in the next couple years. I'm 27, so I (probably) have several years of relatively good eggs left. I guess what's weighing on me is the realization that I'm NOT entirely against the idea. I'm really really thinking hard about it.

1 comment:

  1. Funny how that change of heart comes out of the blue :-)

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