Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Done & Over

Yeah, so foster care?  Not happening.  We walked that path for about a year.  Actually, it was nearly a year ago that we started our licensing process.  Since then, our placement failed on the kid we licensed FOR, we fostered four kids, and we've been totally miserable.  Our children have suffered, our marriage has suffered, our mental health has suffered.  We just aren't cut out for this right now.  It's not happening.

In other news, the kids we do have?  The ones who are spectacular and beautiful and amazing?  They're doing great.  Em is TWO!  Holy shit, when did that happen?!  She's having entire conversations with me every single day.  She gives me belly laughs constantly.  Monkey is 5 (and a half, mama!), going on 15.  He started kindergarten this year, and man alive... So smart.

It's all happening so fast.  We were just missing too much when we had extras here, you know?  When we foster, we do it 120%.  I'm taking them to the doctor constantly, specialists and surgeries and fixing years of abuse and neglect and everything else.  It's late nights and early mornings and behavior problems and brain damage and exhaustion.  It's amazing how fast I feel so much better.  How fast our family is back to what we wanted it to be.  How fast we realized just how far off course we had wandered.

So we're back.  And we're happy.  And we're whole, even if it didn't work.  Because sometimes? Sometimes maybe you just need to be reminded to be thankful for what you have.  <3